I recently had a good friend tell me he didn’t know how I made a white tee-shirt and jeans look sexy. (Chae, you were the inspiration for this post!) His comment made me think about that elusive element that makes a woman sexy and confident. Some women carry an air of mystery about them and are natural head-turners; while some women have to work at exuding sex appeal. However, let me preface by saying sex appeal is NOT about your dress size. Every woman has the potential to exude confidence and sex appeal. The following is only my opinion, while highlighting some of the things I do. So, after careful consideration…these are my key points to exuding confidence and sexiness.
I believe sexiness is about being confident in our bodies and the energy we give off. It’s a frequency and a vibe. For myself, I feel confident when I’m looking my best. I know what you’re thinking….that’s a bit shallow, Dayna. No, it’s really not. And here’s why….I’ve learned to invest in myself because if I don’t, who will? I admit I make the time to look and feel good. However, this doesn’t mean you have to spend your life in the gym, eat clean all the time, or spend a hefty sum of money on clothing and make-up. It can be as simple as a new lipstick, getting your hair styled, or having your nails done. I think it’s important not to deprive ourselves of the simple and small pleasures in life. These small things can make a huge difference in how we feel about ourselves.
Take the time to exercise or do some type of physical activity. Exercise is proven to increase endorphins, and endorphins make you feel good! So why wouldn’t you take the time to be active and do something to re-energize your mind, body, and soul?
Ever hear the phrase, “Attitude is everything?” Well, it’s because it is! We give off energy because we are energy. I make an effort to be kind, laugh, and treat people how I want to be treated. In turn, doing these things makes me feel good, which makes me happy. This translates into almost everything I do. No one wants to be around a negative nelly….I certainly don’t. Make time to laugh and interact with people. I admit I’m the first to be a total goofball. I love cracking a good joke and making people laugh. Life is too short to be serious all the time. When I’m goofy and playful, I see the world differently.
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Never underestimate the power of good eye contact. Strong eye contact says confidence. Eyes are a connection to a person’s soul. Whether you’re speaking to a male or female, eye contact will tell the other person you are a self-assured, confident woman. So use those eyes to your advantage and play them up! I fully admit my eyes are one of my favorite features to play up. I hit it, then I quit it. Meaning….I amp up my eyes and wear lashes almost every day, only to remove it all at the end of my day. Doing my make-up makes me feel good and is another outlet for my creative expression.
Which leads me to my next tip…wear clothing that accentuates and plays up your best features. There’s nothing worse than wearing something that doesn’t allow you to breathe, eat, walk, or talk. I’m sure we’ve all been there. I’m chuckling as I think about some of my fashion suffrages all in the name of trying to look good. Being uncomfortable is an instant vibe killer, so it’s usually best to avoid being uncomfortable. I’m all for using clothing as an expression of who you are, but don’t sacrifice your own comfort for it.
If you can wear heels…I say wear them!! (they don’t have to be sky-high) I can literally hear the collective gasps of women who don’t wear heels and chiropractors around the world. Some say heels are the worst accoutrement you can put on your feet. However, I’m so accustomed to wearing them, I find it difficult to wear flats. I have high arches and flat footed shoes actually hurt my feet. Go figure. To be honest, I feel like a powerful, sultry feline when I slip into a perfect pair of heels. The magic lies in the instant transformation of becoming taller, leaner, and more graceful. Additionally, I love how heels can bring about a natural movement of the female form to sashay and sway. (want some fries with that shake?)
Of course, this is subjective. Some women find it difficult to walk in heels and end up teetering and clopping around like a Clydesdale in clown shoes. (We’ve all seen it…so try not to be that person either) This goes back to my point of wearing items that allow you to walk effectively and normally. Don’t sacrifice form over function.
And last but not least….just be yourself. Forget the rules because, after all; this is Dayna Without Rules, right? If there is one thing I consistently espouse, it’s there are no rules. Only rules that are self-imposed. Embrace being a woman and work on small subtle changes that fit your personality. Be yourself. Don’t try to be someone else, own your unique style, and your sexiness will shine through.
I’ve linked to the exact same white dress (worn above) but in a pretty mauve here. Ivory available only in a size large here. Almost the same dress in black (on sale!) here and in navy here (also on sale!).
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As always, thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed reading this post! Xoxo, Dayna~